I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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