I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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