Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(514): View more from Quebec

I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...

Fav 2 859 2015
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.

Fav 20 5808 1013
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(315): View more from New York

I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.

Fav 26 7562 1307
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(801): View more from Utah

im getting coffee to go get coffee.

(435): View more from Utah

Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.

Fav 2 3809 1334
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.

Fav 9 2005 795
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(614): View more from Ohio

They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.

Fav 7 982 735
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(518): View more from New York

I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.

Fav 8 2542 1048
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(402): View more from Nebraska

She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"

Fav 3 415 171
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(646): View more from New York

My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?

Fav 0 16 26
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