There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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