Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
