An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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