I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
