Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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