sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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