the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
