3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
