Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
