I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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