Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
there's paper in my vomit.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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