Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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