its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
