Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
