It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
