Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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