For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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