Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
