There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
