I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
