barbara walters just said penis...
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
