We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
