I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
