she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
