i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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