Umm I'm too high to move.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
