Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
