Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Every concussion has its silver lining
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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