You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
