If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
