is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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