the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
