you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
