Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
