i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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