no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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