I can text with my tongue
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
