my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
