I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
