No awkward lesbian experiences without me
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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