evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Randomize
