I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
