508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
