In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
