You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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