Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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