his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
