There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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