they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
