your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
