I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
